It’s 2 am as we speak, most my community is tucked in their beds…. I am not. My head is spinning a million miles an hour. I have butterflies, I feel sick. I have waves of excitement replaced by those of dread, then full on panic. I had a “bomb” dropped on me this week. The news has sent me into a tail spin. My business partner has decided to step down for the sake of her family. Because of this, I have some pretty big decisions to make myself. Do I proceed onward and upward, or do I forfeit the store front- in favor of working on a smaller scale. I love our little shop! I love the people I meet because of it, I love the chances I have to minister to others through those meetings. And that is what this little shop has been for me- my ministry. But I can’t do this alone. So I am left with this unsettling feeling of just what to do.
So-at two a.m. as I turn to my bible, I end up with this passage- and it’s subsequent devotion:
I will bless the L ord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the L ord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. (Psalms 16:7, 8 NLT)
It is human nature to make our own plans and then ask God to bless them. Instead, we should seek God’s will first. By constantly thinking about the Lord and his way of living, we will gain insights that will help us make right decisions and live the way God desires. Communicating with God allows him to counsel us and give us wisdom.
How do I have the wisdom to discern my plans and God’s plans for me? He is good. He has granted us success with this shop. He has opened doors for me to meet people that would have never come into my life, were it not through the store. But, what about the ministry of motherhood? Because right now, we are DEEPLY lacking in that area. My family’s cracks are growing wider. I am at this point- is my glory to Him in a shop or in my family??
Can I be at peace in a simple life? Do I want to define my worth through my children or through my work because, now is that time.
Now is when I decide the answer, and act accordingly.
My reading this morning came from :
He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the L ord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. (2 Chronicles 20:15 NLT)
I’m going through a sermon series right now on gracious parenting. It’s called Heritage Parenting by gracecovonline.com— in case your wondering. BUT. it has been overwhelming. The ways in which I’m doing things wrong, the fact that time is slipping by me to mould these little hearts and souls that have been entrusted to me, sometimes it feels like an army of do’s and dont’s is heaving at the gates. Sometimes that army takes the form of my to do list that is always a mile long. Or perhaps, work related stuff, afterschool activities for the children, keeping a clean house, being on mission…. You see my army takes on many faces. Unfortunately- there are many times I heap these tasks upon my self and feel the breath of my army on my neck. I need to remember this…today….don’t be afraid! It is not my battle but God’s. If I submit to him as a ruler and general on my heart in my life, I will wage that war and win!
Instruct all the skilled craftsmen whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom. Have them make garments for Aaron that will distinguish him as a priest set apart for my service. (Exodus 28:3 NLT)
I am feeling a little tread upon this week by my business partner. Especially today. I feel that she has been short with me, and almost irritated. I am trying my best, but I am not as good at some things as she. I don’t go as quickly. That is the fact of the matter. My husband does not want to craft like hers does and it is what it is. I’ve come to see these differences, and instead of pushing Hubs, and keeping score what she and Her hubby are doing vs what we are doing, I’ve come to just realize that we are good at different things.
Today, I need this verse, and this devotional. I try to do it all instead of realize that I have certain talents that are different than my business partner’s. There is NO way we would have the presence we do if it were not for my mad social media skills. And there would be nothing for me to be talking about were it not for her mad painting skills. Therefore, I need to lift her up and support her in her skills. I need to appreciate her for all her hard work and hopefully she appreciates me for all mine. But nonetheless… I need to remember- I am not here for her, I am not here for me. I am purely here to give the Glory to God. He has set me in this place to be a donkey. I will set about my important work of carrying His Holiness on my back, and pray that I am good about meshing into the background so that He is all that others see.
The devotional content is as follows:
The tailors who made Aaron’s garments were given wisdom by God in order to do their task. All of us have special skills. God wants to fill us with his Spirit so we will use those skills for his glory.