It’s 2 am as we speak, most my community is tucked in their beds…. I am not. My head is spinning a million miles an hour. I have butterflies, I feel sick. I have waves of excitement replaced by those of dread, then full on panic. I had a “bomb” dropped on me this week. The news has sent me into a tail spin. My business partner has decided to step down for the sake of her family. Because of this, I have some pretty big decisions to make myself. Do I proceed onward and upward, or do I forfeit the store front- in favor of working on a smaller scale. I love our little shop! I love the people I meet because of it, I love the chances I have to minister to others through those meetings. And that is what this little shop has been for me- my ministry. But I can’t do this alone. So I am left with this unsettling feeling of just what to do.
So-at two a.m. as I turn to my bible, I end up with this passage- and it’s subsequent devotion:
I will bless the L ord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the L ord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. (Psalms 16:7, 8 NLT)
It is human nature to make our own plans and then ask God to bless them. Instead, we should seek God’s will first. By constantly thinking about the Lord and his way of living, we will gain insights that will help us make right decisions and live the way God desires. Communicating with God allows him to counsel us and give us wisdom.
How do I have the wisdom to discern my plans and God’s plans for me? He is good. He has granted us success with this shop. He has opened doors for me to meet people that would have never come into my life, were it not through the store. But, what about the ministry of motherhood? Because right now, we are DEEPLY lacking in that area. My family’s cracks are growing wider. I am at this point- is my glory to Him in a shop or in my family??
Can I be at peace in a simple life? Do I want to define my worth through my children or through my work because, now is that time.
Now is when I decide the answer, and act accordingly.